TAKE YOUR TIME If you’re in a rush, you’ll probably be disappointed when you want to make love but wind up falling short

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#TAKE YOUR TIME If you’re in a rush #you’ll probably be disappointed when you want to make love but wind up falling short. You’ve got to slow things down to make love. We literally mean to slow love making and taking more time to get to the final event. Dedicating time to foreplay is a great way to learn how to make love. Plus #it helps ensure you’ll orgasm #a concern than many of our readers share. Take as much time as you need to. Trace your fingers across every inch of his skin. Memorize the way he smells #tastes and feels. Slow your breathing. Get more ideas in our post about slow sex. Love making isn’t a race or about the goal. It’s the journey that matters. 4. STAY IN THE MOMENT For many people #their overactive minds take them out of the moment #which isn’t what you want when you’re learning how to make love. You can help yourself stay in the moment with a few practices #which should come easily if you’ve ever participated in guided meditation or tried your hand at Tantric sex. Whenever you recognize your mind is wandering #focus on the pleasure you’ve giving or receiving. Notice how your head #your arms and hands #your legs and feet and your core feels. Focus on your breathing and his. If it helps #you can breathe in tandem or imagine yourself inhaling his breath and him doing the same with the breath you exhale. Imagine that breath as energy moving through your body to ground yourself. For some people #it helps to notice the stimulation of each sense. For instance #moaning can help to keep your auditory sense enthralled. Or you may need to switch positions to get your head back in the game. There’s a lot of different advice because no single thing works for every woman. These practices are part of what is known as mindfulness. Mindfulness can be useful for dealing with anxiety as well as stress [2 #3] #but it can also help inside the bedroom! Mindfulness can help women get wetter [4 p 111] and improve their sexual function [5 #6]. It may also lead to more sexual satisfaction [7 #8 #9]. and help women with sexual dysfunction increase their sexual desire [10]. In fact #sex researcher Lori Brotto wrote an entire book about how mindfulness can help women have better sex #but men can benefit from mindfulness #too! Check out this podcast with our interview about mindfulness with Dr. Brotto.